On screen divas and dandies – we adore them, worship them, look up to them. On the flip side, they are all mere mortals of basic human existence. They have their weak moments and wins. When the inspiring celebrity couples break up, we are shattered to bits. “Oh, how did this happen?”, we wonder. We have great expectations from star examples, when it comes to love and relationships. It’s a simple mind map – we want ourselves to win through them.
The entire Indian media went berserk after Gautami Tadimalla released a very personal letter online, creating sensation. After living together for 13 long years, Gautami announced to the world that she and Kamal Haasan are finally parting ways. In this letter, Gautami shares her innermost thoughts and feelings, making subtly careful statements like ‘I’m not looking for sympathy’.
Then, what are you looking for, Gautami? A self satiating public disclosure of your most private life? Or a self confessed apology that badly needs to be told to the wide and yonder who simple don’t care? Except media and publishing houses who will make a buck with your letter, the rest of the civilization will go back quietly to their boring lives, saying “yet another one failed”, and “these filmy people are like this only”
Whether or not Gautami has tried to showcase her bravery with this letter, the ode of realizations and goodbye proves just how weak our on screen role models are. In the broad day light, they are vulnerable, just like the rest of us. They fall prey to acquired Gyaan and expected pitfalls, just like the rest of us. They are overtly exposed and insecure too.
Gautami may or may not have seen it coming, but the rest of the world did. At least the well experienced and informed part of the world. Yes, the two have come a long way, lending shoulder to each other and standing strong during tough times. We respect that. They have made a comfortable arrangement for children from two broken homes whom they are accountable and responsible for. We respect that too.
What we simply fail to understand (or better yet, make us understand), is people of great prominence and following failing to set a better example. Weak hearted sonnets and essays show us how vulnerable our on screen women have become – dependent and emotionally needy.
Gautami could have coped with this with grace, unlike a teenager who writes about her breakup on the Facebook wall every single day. She could have battled this as well as she did with breast cancer. She could have risen above all, setting an example that she does not and will not owe an explanation or an apology to anybody.
The reality is here today, all over newspapers and internet. TV channels will have a great story to run in loop and cash in bucks. Everybody has won today with this letter, except Gautami Tadimalla.
We wish you better times ahead.
Read her letter here
It is heartbreaking for me to have to say today that I and Mr. Haasan are no longer together. After almost 13 years together, it has been one of the most devastating decisions that I have ever had to make in my life. It is never easy for anyone in a committed relationship to realise that their paths have irreversibly diverged and that the only choices in front of them are to either compromise with their dreams for life or to accept the truth of their solitude and move ahead. It has taken me a very long time, a couple of years at the very least, to accept this heartbreaking truth and come to this decision.
It is not my intention to seek sympathy or assign blame. I have understood through my life that change is inevitable and human nature will define that change for each individual. Not all of these changes might be what we expect or anticipate but that does not, in any way, negate the very real impact of these diverging priorities in a relationship. This decision to set forth on my own at this stage in my life is perhaps one of the most difficult decisions any woman will ever have to make but it is a necessary one for me. For I am a mother first and foremost and I have a responsibility to my child to be the best mother that I can be. And to do that, it is essential that I am at peace within myself.
It is no secret that I have always been a fan of Mr. Haasan’s since before I came to the film industry and I continue to admire and cheer on his monumental talent and achievements. I have stood by him through all his challenges and they have been precious moments for me. I have also learned a great deal from working with him as costume designer on his films and I’m proud that I was able to do justice to his creative vision in those films. Along with all of his accomplishments to date, I know that there is much more to come from him for his audience and I look forward to applauding those successes.
I would like to say that I am sharing this monumental happening in my life because I have always lived my life in your midst, with dignity and grace to the best of my ability at all times, and all of you have been a part of my life’s journey in so many ways. I have received so much of love and support from you through the past 29 years and I would like to thank you for the many ways in which you kept me going through the darkest and most painful times in my life.
With love and regards,