“I have no time for this; this is what he yells as he heads out every day” complains my friend. She is a successful lawyer, married for over five and has her own career thing going on. The lady balances her feet on two boats and stands tall, just like that famous Ajay Devgn stunt in some Hindi film I barely remember. The rant was on for about an hour, more like a therapy session. Except that I was not getting paid. She heaves out a big sigh, makes a face like that of Audrey Hepburn and asks me one straight question – “You are a writer. If this were your novel, what will my character do next?”
Reacting to that brutal question with my usually numb smile shrouding discomfort, I continued to sip on my iced tea sans alcohol with humility. I did not apply on my research yet into action and talk. There were hardly any confirmed results in the miserable lab of latest trials. ‘No time for me’ factor had picked up some momentum between partners in the recent times. Let us take variables into account for the last decade. Most relationships have become modernized, concise and stressful.
The ‘no time’ movement is soon on its way to turn into a revolution, considering the kind of female force it has backing it. No winning there. If this was my novel and my girlfriend was the Sita of the modern times, I will give her a medal. Seriously.
Women have a great tenacity to express, question and retaliate. Men, on the other hand exercise glorified responsibility with code mute. I will not blame the poor souls, since there is a four blocker waiting at work from 9 to 12 every day. In the midst of competing with peers and tackling domestic issues, men have definitely come off age when it came to handling their eves. At first, there used to be simple silence. The reticence was misjudged or misinterpreted in amplified meanings by the other side. Just like ever changing arrival of smartphones in the market, the hush was later replaced with a little hand and face signal response. A constant nod here and there, men would willingly express their empathy for the lady who has issues. Women have also upgraded their personalities. The latest reaction to the whole ‘denial escapade’ scenario – well, we are right here sitting at a café where one vents and the other contemplates.
Relationships have taken a quick detour to narrow exits. This need not be just in case of close to decade long marriages. The hassled Adam-Eves of present times look for answers without probing inside. There is a thin line that we walk above the steep fall of ‘no time’ to ‘make time’. We are experts in applying a six sigma project to solve a problem at work, but total bummers in matters of heart and what heartily matters.
In a fast paced world hard wired with Wi-fi and gadgets, we are total wrecks. There needs to be a ray of hope, a light at the end of tunnel. Most of us have surpassed the crazy game of mind mapping, fighting against the odds and crossing levels of sugar candy musings.
Men have begun to talk a little about what is uncomfortable. They are as willing to share a ramble as much as walking out to run away and have beer with friends. Women, on the other hand have taken the hard route post years of waiting for that ugly conversation to happen. Some of us have become wellness consultants, applying inner pain, healing others, turning it into a plausible profession. There better be a lucrative fee for the suffering, if not a payback.
Perhaps there is still a natural craving for balance within us despite all the cynicism that is presented in the game of vows.
While we need to lawyer the lost time and yet find a balance, I still have my friend’s big beautiful eyes staring at me in anticipation. I’ll pass!